Marty's
Miraculous Cure Letter
Dear friends,
God has been doing some amazing things in my life over the
last few years. It is the desire of
my heart to share these things with as many people as possible.
Since God is no respecter of persons, what He has done for me He will do
for anyone.
God has healed me of CFS (Chronic Fatigue Syndrome).
Another name for CFS is CFIDS (Chronic Fatigue & Immune Dysfunction
Syndrome). I was debilitated for
many years by this illness. Before
my healing began in l999 I had been on a basically downhill slide physically for
around 20 years. Each year
progressively brought more fatigue, as well as a gradual giving up of more and
more activities. The last 6-10
years of the illness were especially hard.
During those years most of my time was spent in bed resting due to
extreme exhaustion. It was my goal
to try to get my teeth brushed once a day.
And I did that sitting down since I was too exhausted to stand for that
long. Although my hair tends to be
oily and needs to be washed every day, there were many times I would lie in my
bed for 5 days before I would have enough energy to get a bath and wash my hair.
That was quite a chore.
Not only has God healed me of CFS but He has also healed my
thyroid gland. When I started
taking thyroid medication in l979 I was told that I would have to take it the
rest of my life. But now I no
longer need medication.
The terrible insomnia I had is a thing of the past.
I used to lie in bed for several hours each night before I could finally
fall asleep. Now, I fall asleep
“as soon as my head hits the pillow” (except for those nights when I have
fallen back into fear and anxiety over something).
Also, the awful depression I lived with is no longer a part
of my life. I used to just long to
die and go to heaven in order to escape my suffering. Now I hardly ever even think about dying!
Another thing God has healed has been my appetite.
In l996 I began having loss of appetite and was really struggling to try
to eat. So at that time I decided
to put myself on a 4-day rotation diet which I had previously learned was part
of the treatment for a person with food allergies.
This was a difficult diet to follow, but at least I was able to eat
again. I remained on this diet
until l999 when my healing began. God
has completely restored my appetite and I do not have to rotate my foods
anymore. I can eat wheat and dairy
products (the things I was most allergic to) as many times a day as I desire.
What a joy to go to the grocery store and know I can eat anything in the
store!
God has given me part-time work which I love.
I’m also able to go to Sumter (an hour’s drive away) one day every
other week to help out my dad who lives in a retirement home there.
How did all of this come about? When I was sick I had 3 friends (Priscilla, Sarah, and
Rosanne) who were also devastated by CFS (as
well as MCS [Multiple Chemical Sensitivity] and food allergies).
We prayed for each other for many years, and occasionally sent cards or
talked on the phone. One day
in the Fall of l998 Priscilla called me and said she was having more energy as a
result of applying some principles she had heard about on some tapes she had
been listening to. She said that
Sarah and Rosanne were also experiencing more energy as they were applying the
same principles. The tapes were of
a seminar by a Pastor Henry Wright on Spiritual Roots of Disease.
When she mentioned something about fear and anxiety I said, “I am
consumed with fear and anxiety.” She
asked if I would like for her to send me the tapes and I said yes.
But I was pretty skeptical. I
had tried so many things, and none of them had given me any permanent help.
Plus, I had a lot of fear concerning listening to the tapes.
I was afraid that this was some kind of weird religious cult. Also, I remember thinking it was a little bit odd that the
only thing Priscilla was trying was something spiritual. At the time I was trying juicing (drinking up to l/2 gal. of
fresh vegetable juice each day) along with a mostly raw food diet.
And I didn’t really think that it would do much good to only try
something spiritual without trying something else more tangible to go along with
the spiritual--something like juicing, herbs, mega-vitamins, medicine, special
diet, etc. Boy was I wrong!
In the Fall of l998 I listened to 1 or 2 of the tapes but
became overwhelmed by what I was hearing. So
I set them aside. At Christmas l998
I started becoming much worse and the loss of appetite returned (even though I
was faithfully rotating my raw foods and juices).
By April l999 my exhaustion was so bad that I could only be up out of bed
for 10 minutes at a time. I would
lie in bed for several hours planning how to best use the next 10 minute period
that I would be able to be up out of bed. My
loss of appetite had gotten so bad that my stomach would be crying out for food
but I couldn’t get the food to it. And
I was losing too much weight. So I
started putting various kinds of oil in my vegetable juices to try to get more
calories and fat grams into my body, but that made me nauseous.
At that point I was thinking that the next step might be a feeding tube,
which I did not want. I just wanted
to die and go to heaven (as that was the only way I knew to escape my
suffering). I was hoping that it
would be OK with God for me to refuse a feeding tube, but I didn’t know how He
would feel about that. I became so
desperate that on April 10, 1999, I started listening to the tapes again.
I told God that I would keep listening as long as my fatigue did not get
worse. And it never did get worse!
But it was a few months before it got significantly better.
Here’s what happened.
The pastor on the tapes said, “While listening to the
tapes, if you become convicted of a sin in your life, stop the tape, repent, and
deal with that issue with the Lord”. So
that’s what I did. At one point
on the tape the pastor said, “Some of you haven’t forgiven yourselves for
sins you committed in 1917! Immediately
I was reminded of several sins I had committed more than 25 years previously.
I had asked God to forgive me, and I knew He had.
But I realized that I had never forgiven myself.
Can you imagine?! I had
continued to carry the guilt and weight of
those sins for all those years! The
pastor said that if we won’t forgive ourselves for something that God has
already forgiven us for, then we are setting ourselves up as greater than God,
and we are calling God a liar. I
decided that I needed to forgive myself by saying aloud the words “I forgive
myself”. But oh what a struggle
it was! Finally, after trying and
trying, I hesitantly croaked out, “I…forgive…myself”.
And oh the joy that filled me!
I called my friend Priscilla and told her, and we rejoiced together.
That was in the morning. That
day I was able to eat 5 different times! I
“ate us out of house and home” that day.
And that was during the time when I was really struggling to eat.
Another time while listening to the tapes I became aware of
someone whom I had never forgiven. This
individual had said something that had hurt my feelings many years previously.
I had not even thought of this person for many, many years.
And I had not even been aware that I had bitterness and resentment in my
heart toward this person, and an unwillingness to forgive this person.
So I repented for this and chose to start praying for this individual.
I have come to realize that if I still get that “high octane ping”,
that “ouch”, that pain in my heart when I think of someone who’s hurt me,
then there’s still some bitterness, some resentment left in my heart, or some
unwillingness to forgive. I have
also come to know that God wants me to be free of every single bit of that pain
in my heart. But in order for that
to happen I must forgive those people who have hurt me.
Then, although I still have the memory of what they did (or said) to me,
yet I do not have the pain.
When the
pastor on the tapes talked about envy and jealousy, I realized that I was
envious of three of the people I loved the most:
my husband and my two children. I
was jealous of them because they could walk out the door of our house and live
normal lives while I stayed home in bed. I was also jealous of my friends because they had their
health. So once again, I had to
repent of this envy and jealousy as sin. One
thing that still helps me when I’m tempted to be envious of someone is to
right away thank God for blessing this person and ask God to continue to bless
this person.
But the biggest stronghold in my life was fear and anxiety.
I began to understand that all of my worries, anxieties and fears are
sins that need to be repented of. Joshua
1:9 says, “Have not I commanded you? Be
strong and courageous. Do not be
terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you
wherever you go.” Also, 2nd
Timothy 1:7 says, “For God has not given us the spirit of fear: but of power,
and of love, and of a sound mind.”
One of the first things I learned about fear was that any
fear a person gives in to will master that person. I found out that I had much fear of man.
By fear of man I mean being concerned with saying and doing things in
order to be accepted by people. I
had known for many years that I was a “people-pleaser”.
But it had never occurred to me that my motive of doing things in order
to gain man’s approval and acceptance was fear of man, which was a sin that I
needed to repent of, be forgiven for, and be delivered from.
For several months I listened to tapes on Spiritual Roots
of Disease, as well as tapes on overcoming bitterness, envy and jealousy,
rejection, fear, etc. I continued
the process of repenting for sins as I became aware of them.
During this time I did not know whether or not God wanted to heal me.
But I did know he wanted me to confess my sins and be forgiven and
delivered. So I continued on. Although my fatigue and exhaustion had not gotten any worse,
it had hardly gotten any better. All
that started to change on July 2, l999, the day before my 52nd
birthday. (Life began anew when I
turned 52!) J
On that day Priscilla and her sister Sarah (both of whom
were being healed) and their mom Ruth came to see me. They brought lunch and cake to celebrate my birthday.
Normally, when I had visitors, I would lie down on the sofa during the
visit. By conserving my energy like
that (instead of sitting up) I could usually allow my visitors to stay for about
an hour before I would need to ask them to leave (due to extreme exhaustion).
So on this particular day I sat down at the kitchen table in order to
tell them where to get the plates, glasses, etc.
After sitting there a little while I started thinking, “I’d better go lie down on the sofa or I will really
‘pay for’ this.” So I
mentioned this to them and Sarah said, “What do you WANT to do?”
I surprised myself by bursting into tears and saying, “I didn’t know
I had a choice.” Sarah said,
“God made your body to function normally and to maintain health.” Then she repeated her question, “What do you WANT to do?”
And I said, “I just want
to be NORMAL, and do the things normal people do.
Of COURSE I want to sit at the table with everyone else rather than lie
down over there on the sofa away from everyone.”
Then Sarah said, “You can CHOOSE what you want to do.”
Somewhere inside me I seemed to hear the words “by faith”. So “by faith” I chose to continue sitting at the table
rather than going to lie down on the sofa.
That was my first baby step toward healing and freedom.
(That is, it was my first baby step of acting in faith following all the
repenting of sin I had been doing.)
A little later on Ruth wanted to take a picture.
So Priscilla and Sarah came and stood behind my chair for the picture.
But I said, “Wait a minute. You
both are standing , and I am sitting. I’m
going to stand up too.” (The
reason this was significant is that I would never “waste energy” standing
when I could sit. Also, standing,
even for a few minutes, would really exhaust me.)
So that was another baby step of faith.
The next day a friend came over unexpectedly to visit me;
and I chose “by faith” to sit up on the sofa rather than lie down.
Later on that day I chose “by faith” to go to a restaurant with my
family to celebrate my birthday. (I
had previously told my husband that I would not “wear myself out” by going
out to a restaurant, but would just open my gifts and cards while lying on the
sofa.)
Since the next day was Sunday, I took another step of faith
and chose to go to Sunday School and church.
Now I hadn’t been to Sunday School or morning church in about 10 years.
(I would still go to about 20 minutes of the evening church service when
possible, since I sometimes felt a little better in the evenings.
But mornings were always my worst time of the day.)
About this time I asked my husband and two children to let
me know when they were going to run an errand; and I would go along for the
ride. Also, about this time I chose
to start driving again (with my husband in the front seat to “re-teach” me).
J
I had not driven but one time in the previous two to three years.
And I had not driven on interstate for 10 or 12 years.
When my husband saw me doing all these things again, he
said, “There’s no reason why you can’t go on vacation to Santee with the
children and me July 18th. I
wasn’t so sure. That was a BIG
step for me as I had not spent a night away from home for about seven years.
During those seven years I would stay at home by myself while my family
went on vacation. I hated it but had had to give up traveling due to my
exhaustion. So I really struggled
with this decision. After 24 hours
of trying to decide, I said I would go; because I realized it was a choice
between staying home with my fear and lack of trust in God or going to Santee
with trust in God.
So this was how it happened. My healing was over a period of time, about a year or two.
I just continued to have “firsts”—like the first time I pumped gas,
the first time I got cash at the ATM, the first time I got groceries, the first
time I drove out of town by myself, etc. In
the beginning I did a lot of these things TIRED, but I just kept doing them.
And gradually I got to where I was doing them NOT TIRED.
The time it took for my appetite to be fully restored was
about a year and a half. When I
first started going to restaurants with my family, I would just order milk.
Then later I was able to eat bacon with my milk.
Gradually I got to the place where more and more foods started tasting
good to me; and I eventually gained back all the weight I had lost.
My three friends have all been healed and are living
normal, productive lives. Also, I
have other friends whom God has healed of pain, migraines and arthritis.
When Jesus was here on earth He healed a crippled woman on
the Sabbath (Luke 13:10-17). When
the synagogue ruler objected to Jesus healing someone on the Sabbath day, Jesus
replied, “Then should not this woman, a daughter of Abraham, whom Satan has
kept bound for 18 long years, be set free on the Sabbath day from what bound
her?” I relate to this verse
because Satan had me bound all those long years of my illness. But God in His mercy showed me the error of my ways so He
could set me free. If we have an
illness that is caused by our own sin, that is a humbling thing. But it is also hope-inspiring; because we can repent, be
forgiven, and be healed!
Another verse that is meaningful to me is Psalm 68:6b which
says, “…he (God) brings out those which are bound with chains;”.
I was so bound by the chains of fear, anxiety, stress, resentment, and
bitterness. Now I praise and thank
God for showing me the way out of my chains.
I never
realized how much a person’s physical health can be the result of living in
fear, stress, anxiety, bitterness,
resentment, envy, jealousy, rejection, etc. instead of living in the peace,
tranquility, love, and forgiveness that God desires for us.
While I do not experience God’s peace, joy and love to the degree that
I would like (or to the degree that He would like for me), yet He has brought me
such a long way. Sometimes I just
thank Him for ALL He has taught me! And
other times I realize that there is SO much I do not know about how to live this
life! J
But He is my kind, tender Shepherd as well as my powerful, mighty, strong
Warrior in my battle against the forces of evil that would seek to destroy me.
In John 10:10 Jesus says, “The thief comes only to steal and kill and
destroy; I came that they may have life, and have it ABUNDANTLY.” Wow! Even during
my sick years I used to quote the second part of this verse to myself a
lot—because although I was not experiencing it, I knew it was the true word of
God. And so I clung to it.
But now God is showing me how to EXPERIENCE
an abundant life.
Before closing this letter I just want to say that if
anyone feels condemned after reading this letter, that condemnation is not from
God. I have lived most of my life
not knowing the difference between condemnation from the enemy of our souls and
conviction from God. In the last
few years I am learning that there is a vast difference. Satan wants to condemn us IN our sin; but God loves us and
wants to free us FROM our sin. God
knows that we will be freer and happier if we confess our sin, turn from our
sin, receive His forgiveness, and forgive ourselves.
I am learning that forgiveness is one of the most freeing things in the
world!
Sincerely,
Marty
PS: The tapes I listened to on Spiritual Roots of Disease by Pastor Henry Wright have been transcribed and edited. They are available in a book titled A More Excellent Way. (Or for those of you who prefer tapes, there is a set of three tapes which are a condensed version of the book.) Also available are the tapes I listened to on overcoming bitterness, envy and jealousy, rejection, fear, etc. If interested you can contact:
Pleasant Valley Church
4178 Crest Highway (Hwy 74 West)
Thomaston, GA 30286
Main Office & International Calls: 706-646-2074
Information: USA & Canada: 1-800-453-5775
E-Mail:pvcm@alltel.net
Website: if any of the above contact info seems outdated, try the website...
(posted 10 September 2007)