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Marty's Miraculous Cure Letter
Dear friends,
God has been doing some amazing things in my life
over the last few years. It is the desire of my heart to share these things with as
many people as possible. Since God is no respecter of persons, what He has done for me
He will do for anyone.
God has healed me of CFS (Chronic Fatigue
Syndrome). Another name for CFS is CFIDS (Chronic Fatigue & Immune Dysfunction
Syndrome). I was debilitated for many years by this illness. Before my healing
began in l999 I had been on a basically downhill slide physically for around 20 years.
Each year progressively brought more fatigue, as well as a gradual giving up of more and more
activities. The last 6-10 years of the illness were especially hard. During those
years most of my time was spent in bed resting due to extreme exhaustion. It was my
goal to try to get my teeth brushed once a day. And I did that sitting down since I was
too exhausted to stand for that long. Although my hair tends to be oily and needs to be
washed every day, there were many times I would lie in my bed for 5 days before I would have
enough energy to get a bath and wash my hair. That was quite a
chore.
Not only has God healed me of CFS but He has also
healed my thyroid gland. When I started taking thyroid medication in l979 I was told
that I would have to take it the rest of my life. But now I no longer need
medication.
The terrible insomnia I had is a thing of the
past. I used to lie in bed for several hours each night before I could finally fall
asleep. Now, I fall asleep “as soon as my head hits the pillow” (except for those
nights when I have fallen back into fear and anxiety over something).
Also, the awful depression I lived with is no
longer a part of my life. I used to just long to die and go to heaven in order to
escape my suffering. Now I hardly ever even think about dying!
Another thing God has healed has been my
appetite. In l996 I began having loss of appetite and was really struggling to try to
eat. So at that time I decided to put myself on a 4-day rotation diet which I had
previously learned was part of the treatment for a person with food allergies. This was
a difficult diet to follow, but at least I was able to eat again. I remained on this
diet until l999 when my healing began. God has completely restored my appetite and I do
not have to rotate my foods anymore. I can eat wheat and dairy products (the things I
was most allergic to) as many times a day as I desire. What a joy to go to the grocery
store and know I can eat anything in the store!
God has given me part-time work which I
love. I’m also able to go to Sumter (an hour’s drive away) one day every other
week to help out my dad who lives in a retirement home there.
How did all of this come about? When I was
sick I had 3 friends (Priscilla, Sarah, and Rosanne) who were also devastated by CFS
(as well as MCS [Multiple Chemical Sensitivity] and food allergies). We prayed for each
other for many years, and occasionally sent cards or talked on the phone. One day
in the Fall of l998 Priscilla called me and said she was having more energy as a result of
applying some principles she had heard about on some tapes she had been listening to.
She said that Sarah and Rosanne were also experiencing more energy as they were applying the
same principles. The tapes were of a seminar by a Pastor Henry Wright on Spiritual
Roots of Disease. When she mentioned something about fear and anxiety I said, “I am
consumed with fear and anxiety.” She asked if I would like for her to send me the tapes
and I said yes. But I was pretty skeptical. I had tried so many things, and none
of them had given me any permanent help. Plus, I had a lot of fear concerning listening
to the tapes. I was afraid that this was some kind of weird religious cult. Also,
I remember thinking it was a little bit odd that the only thing Priscilla was trying was
something spiritual. At the time I was trying juicing (drinking up to l/2 gal. of fresh
vegetable juice each day) along with a mostly raw food diet. And I didn’t really think
that it would do much good to only try something spiritual without trying something else more
tangible to go along with the spiritual--something like juicing, herbs, mega-vitamins,
medicine, special diet, etc. Boy was I wrong!
In the Fall of l998 I listened to 1 or 2 of the
tapes but became overwhelmed by what I was hearing. So I set them aside. At
Christmas l998 I started becoming much worse and the loss of appetite returned (even though I
was faithfully rotating my raw foods and juices). By April l999 my exhaustion was so
bad that I could only be up out of bed for 10 minutes at a time. I would lie in bed for
several hours planning how to best use the next 10 minute period that I would be able to be
up out of bed. My loss of appetite had gotten so bad that my stomach would be crying
out for food but I couldn’t get the food to it. And I was losing too much weight.
So I started putting various kinds of oil in my vegetable juices to try to get more calories
and fat grams into my body, but that made me nauseous. At that point I was thinking
that the next step might be a feeding tube, which I did not want. I just wanted to die
and go to heaven (as that was the only way I knew to escape my suffering). I was hoping
that it would be OK with God for me to refuse a feeding tube, but I didn’t know how He would
feel about that. I became so desperate that on April 10, 1999, I started listening to
the tapes again. I told God that I would keep listening as long as my fatigue did not
get worse. And it never did get worse! But it was a few months before it got
significantly better. Here’s what
happened.
The pastor on the tapes said, “While listening to
the tapes, if you become convicted of a sin in your life, stop the tape, repent, and deal
with that issue with the Lord”. So that’s what I did. At one point on the tape
the pastor said, “Some of you haven’t forgiven yourselves for sins you committed in
1917! Immediately I was reminded of several sins I had committed more than 25 years
previously. I had asked God to forgive me, and I knew He had. But I realized that
I had never forgiven myself. Can you imagine?! I had continued to carry the guilt
and weight of those sins for all those years! The pastor said that if we won’t
forgive ourselves for something that God has already forgiven us for, then we are setting
ourselves up as greater than God, and we are calling God a liar. I decided that I
needed to forgive myself by saying aloud the words “I forgive myself”. But oh what a
struggle it was! Finally, after trying and trying, I hesitantly croaked out,
“I…forgive…myself”. And oh the joy that filled me! I called my friend
Priscilla and told her, and we rejoiced together. That was in the morning. That
day I was able to eat 5 different times! I “ate us out of house and home” that
day. And that was during the time when I was really struggling to
eat.
Another time while listening to the tapes I became
aware of someone whom I had never forgiven. This individual had said something that had
hurt my feelings many years previously. I had not even thought of this person for many,
many years. And I had not even been aware that I had bitterness and resentment in my
heart toward this person, and an unwillingness to forgive this person. So I repented
for this and chose to start praying for this individual. I have come to realize that if
I still get that “high octane ping”, that “ouch”, that pain in my heart when I think of
someone who’s hurt me, then there’s still some bitterness, some resentment left in my heart,
or some unwillingness to forgive. I have also come to know that God wants me to be free
of every single bit of that pain in my heart. But in order for that to happen I must
forgive those people who have hurt me. Then, although I still have the memory of what
they did (or said) to me, yet I do not have the pain.
When the pastor on the tapes talked about
envy and jealousy, I realized that I was envious of three of the people I loved the
most: my husband and my two children. I was jealous of them because they could
walk out the door of our house and live normal lives while I stayed home in bed. I was
also jealous of my friends because they had their health. So once again, I had to
repent of this envy and jealousy as sin. One thing that still helps me when I’m tempted
to be envious of someone is to right away thank God for blessing this person and ask God to
continue to bless this person.
But the biggest stronghold in my life was fear and
anxiety. I began to understand that all of my worries, anxieties and fears are sins
that need to be repented of. Joshua 1:9 says, “Have not I commanded you? Be
strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your
God will be with you wherever you go.” Also, 2nd Timothy 1:7 says, “For God has not
given us the spirit of fear: but of power, and of love, and of a sound
mind.”
One of the first things I learned about fear was
that any fear a person gives in to will master that person. I found out that I had much
fear of man. By fear of man I mean being concerned with saying and doing things in
order to be accepted by people. I had known for many years that I was a
“people-pleaser”. But it had never occurred to me that my motive of doing things in
order to gain man’s approval and acceptance was fear of man, which was a sin that I needed to
repent of, be forgiven for, and be delivered from.
For several months I listened to tapes on
Spiritual Roots of Disease, as well as tapes on overcoming bitterness, envy and jealousy,
rejection, fear, etc. I continued the process of repenting for sins as I became aware
of them. During this time I did not know whether or not God wanted to heal me.
But I did know he wanted me to confess my sins and be forgiven and delivered. So I
continued on. Although my fatigue and exhaustion had not gotten any worse, it had
hardly gotten any better. All that started to change on July 2, l999, the day before my
52nd birthday. (Life began anew when I turned 52!) J
On that day Priscilla and her sister Sarah (both
of whom were being healed) and their mom Ruth came to see me. They brought lunch and
cake to celebrate my birthday. Normally, when I had visitors, I would lie down on the
sofa during the visit. By conserving my energy like that (instead of sitting up) I
could usually allow my visitors to stay for about an hour before I would need to ask them to
leave (due to extreme exhaustion). So on this particular day I sat down at the kitchen
table in order to tell them where to get the plates, glasses, etc. After sitting there
a little while I started thinking, “I’d better go lie down on the sofa or I will really
‘pay for’ this.” So I mentioned this to them and Sarah said, “What do you WANT to
do?” I surprised myself by bursting into tears and saying, “I didn’t know I had a
choice.” Sarah said, “God made your body to function normally and to maintain
health.” Then she repeated her question, “What do you WANT to do?” And I
said, “I just want to be NORMAL, and do the things normal people do. Of COURSE I
want to sit at the table with everyone else rather than lie down over there on the sofa away
from everyone.” Then Sarah said, “You can CHOOSE what you want to do.” Somewhere
inside me I seemed to hear the words “by faith”. So “by faith” I chose to continue
sitting at the table rather than going to lie down on the sofa. That was my first baby
step toward healing and freedom. (That is, it was my first baby step of acting in faith
following all the repenting of sin I had been doing.)
A little later on Ruth wanted to take a
picture. So Priscilla and Sarah came and stood behind my chair for the picture.
But I said, “Wait a minute. You both are standing , and I am sitting. I’m going
to stand up too.” (The reason this was significant is that I would never “waste energy”
standing when I could sit. Also, standing, even for a few minutes, would really exhaust
me.) So that was another baby step of faith.
The next day a friend came over unexpectedly to
visit me; and I chose “by faith” to sit up on the sofa rather than lie down. Later on
that day I chose “by faith” to go to a restaurant with my family to celebrate my
birthday. (I had previously told my husband that I would not “wear myself out” by going
out to a restaurant, but would just open my gifts and cards while lying on the
sofa.)
Since the next day was Sunday, I took another step
of faith and chose to go to Sunday School and church. Now I hadn’t been to Sunday
School or morning church in about 10 years. (I would still go to about 20 minutes of
the evening church service when possible, since I sometimes felt a little better in the
evenings. But mornings were always my worst time of the day.)
About this time I asked my husband and two
children to let me know when they were going to run an errand; and I would go along for the
ride. Also, about this time I chose to start driving again (with my husband in the
front seat to “re-teach” me). J I had not driven but one time in the previous two to
three years. And I had not driven on interstate for 10 or 12 years.
When my husband saw me doing all these things
again, he said, “There’s no reason why you can’t go on vacation to Santee with the children
and me July 18th. I wasn’t so sure. That was a BIG step for me as I had not spent
a night away from home for about seven years. During those seven years I would stay at
home by myself while my family went on vacation. I hated it but had had to give up
traveling due to my exhaustion. So I really struggled with this decision. After
24 hours of trying to decide, I said I would go; because I realized it was a choice between
staying home with my fear and lack of trust in God or going to Santee with trust in
God.
So this was how it happened. My healing was
over a period of time, about a year or two. I just continued to have “firsts”—like the
first time I pumped gas, the first time I got cash at the ATM, the first time I got
groceries, the first time I drove out of town by myself, etc. In the beginning I did a
lot of these things TIRED, but I just kept doing them. And gradually I got to where I
was doing them NOT TIRED.
The time it took for my appetite to be fully
restored was about a year and a half. When I first started going to restaurants with my
family, I would just order milk. Then later I was able to eat bacon with my milk.
Gradually I got to the place where more and more foods started tasting good to me; and I
eventually gained back all the weight I had lost.
My three friends have all been healed and are
living normal, productive lives. Also, I have other friends whom God has healed of
pain, migraines and arthritis.
When Jesus was here on earth He healed a crippled
woman on the Sabbath (Luke 13:10-17). When the synagogue ruler objected to Jesus
healing someone on the Sabbath day, Jesus replied, “Then should not this woman, a daughter of
Abraham, whom Satan has kept bound for 18 long years, be set free on the Sabbath day from
what bound her?” I relate to this verse because Satan had me bound all those long years
of my illness. But God in His mercy showed me the error of my ways so He could set me
free. If we have an illness that is caused by our own sin, that is a humbling
thing. But it is also hope-inspiring; because we can repent, be forgiven, and be
healed!
Another verse that is meaningful to me is Psalm
68:6b which says, “…he (God) brings out those which are bound with chains;”. I was so
bound by the chains of fear, anxiety, stress, resentment, and bitterness. Now I praise
and thank God for showing me the way out of my chains.
I never realized how much a person’s
physical health can be the result of living in fear, stress, anxiety, bitterness,
resentment, envy, jealousy, rejection, etc. instead of living in the peace, tranquility,
love, and forgiveness that God desires for us. While I do not experience God’s peace,
joy and love to the degree that I would like (or to the degree that He would like for me),
yet He has brought me such a long way. Sometimes I just thank Him for ALL He has taught
me! And other times I realize that there is SO much I do not know about how to live
this life! J But He is my kind, tender Shepherd as well as my powerful, mighty, strong
Warrior in my battle against the forces of evil that would seek to destroy me. In John
10:10 Jesus says, “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I came that they may
have life, and have it ABUNDANTLY.” Wow! Even during my sick years I used to
quote the second part of this verse to myself a lot—because although I was not experiencing
it, I knew it was the true word of God. And so I clung to it. But now God is
showing me how to EXPERIENCE an abundant life.
Before closing this letter I just want to say that
if anyone feels condemned after reading this letter, that condemnation is not from God.
I have lived most of my life not knowing the difference between condemnation from the enemy
of our souls and conviction from God. In the last few years I am learning that there is
a vast difference. Satan wants to condemn us IN our sin; but God loves us and wants to
free us FROM our sin. God knows that we will be freer and happier if we confess our
sin, turn from our sin, receive His forgiveness, and forgive ourselves. I am learning
that forgiveness is one of the most freeing things in the world!
Sincerely,
Marty
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PS: The tapes I listened to on Spiritual
Roots of Disease by Pastor Henry Wright have been transcribed and edited. They are
available in a book titled A More Excellent Way. (Or for those of you who prefer tapes,
there is a set of three tapes which are a condensed version of the book.) Also
available are the tapes I listened to on overcoming bitterness, envy and jealousy, rejection,
fear, etc. If interested you can contact: Pleasant Valley Church, 4178 Crest Highway (Hwy 74 West), Thomaston, GA 30286
Main Office & International Calls: 706-646-2074
Information: USA & Canada: 1-800-453-5775
E-Mail: pvcm@alltel.net
Website: if any of the above contact info seems outdated, try the
website...
http://www.pleasantvalleychurch.net
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(posted 10 September 2007)
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