As another of these topical postings has pointed out, the message/understanding of biblical scripture is literally closed to the understanding of the unbeliever. They may be intelligent enough to understand, but God actually prevents understanding of His Word except for those who "believe".
The Biblical model for marriage is that two believers, male and female, unite in such a way that they cleave unto each other (intertwine themselves/lives as vines would
intertwine) & into a sort of trinitarian relationship with God...God &
each of them & each to the other. It is always to have a holy agenda.
"Heat" and love may propell toward marriage, but they are not the glue
of a biblical marriage. The marriage service is performed according to the vows of their church and in the presence of believing witnesses. The marriage is for a lifetime.
God clearly speaks through the apostle Paul about the marital relationship in Ephesians 5:21-32...
The husband is to view the marriage relationship as "one flesh"...the two are actually "one".
They deal with the world as one unit. They deal with their children as one undivided unit. The husband, especially upon realizing the unity of their "one flesh", is to love and care for his wife as he would his own self. He wouldn't knowingly...and in his right mind...hurt his own "flesh". Even further, he is to love and care for her as Jesus loves and cares for His Church.
There is no greater love.
The wife is "to put things in order under"...to submit...to the husband. The relationship is a joint effort blessible by God in which love, caring, patience, understanding, co-operation, and respect are mutually employed to the fullest. On any matter or issue before the couple, after all has been discussed and done, the husband is to carry out "one flesh leadership" (or headship) in declaration and execution of their decision or game plan. It could be that he does some thing or that he delegates and says, "Fine, you go ahead and negotiate the acquisition of that company, as we agreed!"
On the other hand, if the matter or issue is stalemated, it is for the wife, out of reverence for Christ, to submit...such as, "Jim, we've hashed this out a dozen different ways and can't seem to come to a like mind on it. We gave full respect to our marriage by a full, sincere, and honest review of the situation. You've heard my reservations and how I feel. So, out of reverence for Christ and out of love for you and our marriage, I'm submitting to your leadership on this. You have my full love and commitment on it."
Genesis 3:16, speaking of Adam's wife (and all wives after "The Fall"), "Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you." Rather than a being interpreted as a legalistic command for men thereafter, this can just as legitimately be viewed as a statement of a facet of the greater overall tragedy of The Fall.
When this biblical role modeling is added onto a foundation containing regular (personal, couple, and group/church) prayer, regular (personal, couple, and group/church) praise/worship, regular (personal, couple, and group/church) Bible reading, and regular (personal, couple, and group/church) "doing" (fellowship/witnessing/helping/giving..."works"), THEN the odds of a wonderfully fulfilling marriage become extraordinarily high! This foundation can/should begin prior to marriage. Are you a believer? Are you praying regularly that God might be raising up a marriage partner perfect for you and that you be prepared perfect for that partner?
What happens with the earthly biblical marriage when we get to Heaven? We who go to Heaven will be the members of the universal body of believers...the bride of Christ...Jesus is the groom. That earthly marriage probably won't be relevant anymore. See Mark 12:24-25.
Any marriage has trials and struggles. But, if you marry an unbeliever...especially one who is against coming to belief in Christ...you are hamstringing that three-way team that is the "glue". Think about it...
So, as our secularist component of society drives to have same-sex
marriage...and debates civil unions vs. legal marriage vs. social
contracts...just remember that even churches often fail to distinguish the
features of biblical marriage as they perform legal, church-based weddings. It
is sort of like the situation with believer's
baptism: was it a true believer's water baptism or did a person just get wet
in a church ceremony?